Can't Tell A Sergeant By His Stripes
by M. Vernet
Summary: Hogan is suspicious of the newest POW, Technical Sergeant Andrew J. Carter.


Colonel Hogan stood with his arms crossed and a slight frown on his face, deep in thought. His silhouette was framed in the doorway to his quarters. Only Kinch, relaxing on his bunk trying to read a very boring technical manual on vacuum tubes, noticed him standing there. Kinch always watched the Colonel's back - or front in this case. It had become an automatic reflex. He glanced at Colonel Hogan and followed his gaze. The Colonel was eyeing the new guy, Carter.

Carter was sitting at the table in the middle of the room. He was smiling softly at LeBeau, the diminutive chef who could cook as well as any true Frenchman.

"When did you last have a decent meal, _mon ami_? _Regarde toi! La peau et les os!_ Do not worry I will fatten you up."

Newkirk, in an unusual display of protective behavior, was wrapping bandages around the young Sergeant's wrists.

"Bloody Krauts, 'ittin' a man when 'e's 'andcuffed. But don't you worry, mate. They won't be questionin' you again. Not with the Guv'nor and all o' Barracks two behind ya."

"Yeah, Carter. Hochstetter always tries to scare the new guys. But Klink is a pretty decent Kommandant, for a German pig." Kinch added.

Hogan watched the scene before him. Carter was young and polite and sort of... dumb. He seemed to cast a spell over his men, evoking an almost instantaneous sense of brotherhood over the diverse threesome of Kinch, Newkirk and LeBeau. It was what Hogan hoped would happen to his team. But he had a feeling in his gut that this Sergeant wasn't what he seemed.

Hogan cleared his throat. Carter stood awkwardly and saluted, making Newkirk and LeBeau stifle twin laughs.

"At ease, Carter. Kinch, my office." The Colonel turned his back on Carter without another glance. Kinch followed him into his quarters and closed the door.

"What's up, Colonel?"

"This new guy, Carter. Something is bugging me about him."

Kinch sat on the edge of Hogan's desk. "Seems like a nice sort. He was very friendly towards me. Went out of his way to shake my hand and introduce himself. Seemed genuinely interested in where I was from in the States. That in and of itself was a little out of the ordinary I must admit. I trusted him right away. Now that you mention it, that's a little unusual for me."

"He's too good. Too good to be true."

Kinch suddenly felt an irrational need to defend Carter. "He made it through Hochstetter's interrogation with flying colors. He got that Gestapo creep so flustered, I could hear him spitting through the wire! Carter asking him if he were from around here and what he did before he became a Nazi. Hochstetter thought he was an idiot and couldn't wait to get rid of him."

Hogan sighed. "Maybe I'm so jaded I don't recognize an innocent soul when I see one."

Hogan snapped his fingers. "That's it! I've seen him before. Here. We processed him. But...but…" Hogan closed his eyes and took off his cap. He ran his fingers through his hair. Kinch waited for his Colonel's eyes to open again. When they did, Hogan's eyes flashed with anger.

"He was a Lieutenant! That's why I didn't recognize him. Sweet guy. All big eyes and smiles. Do you remember?"

Kinch shook his head.

"Kinch, warn the guys that Carter is being investigated. He already knows about our 'Traveller's Aid Society,' I wonder what he's after. Get London on the radio. I want everything they've got on this Andrew J. Carter from Bull _crap,_ North Dakota."

~~~HH~~~

Carter lay in his bunk, trying to find a comfortable position. He knew he wouldn't sleep even after LeBeau's delicious meal. Hochstetter's interrogation had left him bruised, but he revealed nothing. Who he really feared was Colonel Hogan.

 _Geez, Andrew, you really got yourself in hot water this time. This was such a dumb idea! That Hogan is one smart cookie. He's gonna remember and you'll be shot for impersonating an officer._

Carter jumped when the bunk over the main tunnel opened and Kinch clambered out. Kinch smiled and gave Carter a small wave, before hurrying to the Colonial's quarters. Carter sighed.

 _I'm doomed!_

~~~HH~~~

Hogan had rarely seen his steadfast second so animated.

"Boy, Colonel. Did we open a can o' worms! We got a Lieutenant Perry and a General Collins demanding Carter's safe return to London! They both say they owe him their life. The General threatened to drive a tank to Germany and pick him up! Here's the highlights from his personnel file. The one Klink has is bogus." Kinch dropped a paper on Hogan's desk and stood back, a smile threatening to curl up the corner of his mustache.

Hogan picked up the paper and read outloud. "Technical Sergeant Andrew J. Carter. Native American? Sioux tribe?" Hogan shook his head in disbelief.

"Age... twenty-one. Born in Bullfrog, North Dakota. Worked in Muncie, Indiana in Carter Family drug store. Inducted at age 18… barely, at Muncie." Hogan read the next line then looked up at Kinch who nodded.

"Oh, after his brother died he enlisted. Lieutenant Samuel B. Carter shot down over France. KIA."

Hogan thought a moment about how he would feel if one of his brothers were killed. But he couldn't dwell on it so he continued reading out loud. "Bombardier, Demolitions expert, Chemist?" Hogan looked up at Kinch who really was smiling now.

"Medal of honor, twice? Is that even possible? Purple heart? And he's still active?" Hogan threw down the paper. "Kinch? This can't be right. I'm more confused now than before!"

"Guess you can't judge a sergeant by his stripes, Sir!"

~~~HH~~~

"At ease, Technical Sergeant Andrew J. Carter." Hogan's eyes took in the young man standing before him.

 _Young. So very young. I was never this young. He's frightened to death. Yet there's a strength in those big blue eyes of to put him through his paces and maybe put him out of his misery at the same time._

"Carter, I know you were here before as a Lieutenant. I want you to tell me why and I want to know why a Lieutenant Perry and a General Collins want me to send you back to their lovin' arms."

Carter rolled his eyes. "Not that darn General again! Boy… Sir. Sometimes I wish I never saved… well, no I'm glad I saved his life, but gee whiz. Sometimes I wish he was just a private … or a civilian… or maybe just a kid… but then with my luck he'd be a General's kid and…"

"CARTER!"

"Yes, Colonel?"

"Just tell me everything from the beginning."

"You got it, Sir."

"Well, I guess it started with Sammy getting shot down. That's my big brother." Carter stopped and looked at the floor, swallowing a few times to gain control.

"I understand, Carter, I've got brothers, too."

Carter looked up and held Hogan's gaze. "Then you know why I had to lie about my age and…"

"Wait… you lied? How old are you now… today?"

"Twenty...Sir. But my birthday is next week!"

Hogan put a hand over his weary eyes. "I think you better skip to your time in London."

"Oh, sure thing. Well, I was training to be a bombardier in London and one of the instructors found out I was kinda good with fireworks and bombs and stuff 'cause of Guy Fawkes."

Hogan grimaced as if in pain, "Because of who?"

"Guy Fawkes. He's not really a who-who, I mean I don't know him. He's a holiday. British people celebrate his day with fires and fireworks. The guys in my bunkhouse, they were griping' about missing the holiday so I went to the armory and the lab and made up some nice big Roman Candles and…"

"And your instructor was impressed?"

"He sure was, boy! After he got his hearing back, he sent me to demolitions school, too. He was a real nice guy for an officer, said he really wanted me to do good and make him proud by becoming part of the bomb disposal unit. You know, diffusing live bombs…"

Hogan hid a laugh behind a cough."I can understand that. Go on."

Carter gifted Hogan with a genuine smile and Hogan's heart felt lighter than it had in months.

The smile left Carter's face. "That's when I saved General Collins life… sorta… I mean they made such a fuss, Sir. All I did was diffuse a live bomb that was near the rubble the General and his Aide were caught under. Easy as eatin' pie. The hard part was diggin' them out and givin' the General the breath of life. Yuk. Don't ever taste a General if you don't have too. I mean… well. Yuk. Then he gave me a medal. How embarrassing. He made me a Technical Sergeant too. I was mortified."

"Carter sounds to me like you deserve that medal and your stripes. That was very brave."

"Thank you, Sir. But I was just doin' my job. I mean like... boy, like yesterday I was so hungry I hadn't eaten in three days and getting beat up by Gestapo pigs gives you an appetite. I tell ya! And LeBeau, he gave me this funny kinda French stew and it just about knocked my socks off. I gotta write my Mom and tell her I had French food made by a real French chef… and then…"

Carter stopped in mid sentence. Hogan, who was barely holding on to the thread of the conversation, took a deep breath. "Carter?"

"...then he gave me his portion. I think the Army should give medals for that sorta stuff. Him doin' that saved the life I got goin' in here." Carter touched his heart. "Ya know what I mean… Sir?"

"I do, Carter. I do." Hogan felt himself caught up in Carter's spell. He suddenly noticed how pale Carter was, how his hands had a slight tremor, how tightly he held his hat, the bandages on his wrists. The way he kept shrugging and shuffling as if he couldn't find a comfortable way to stand. A wave of protectiveness washed over him. "Sit down, Carter. And tell me about your purple heart."

Carter sat opposite Colonel Hogan on a rickety wooden chair. He sighed as happily as if it were a comfy stuffed arm chair. "Not much to tell there, Sir. I got a call to diffuse a live bomb someone had put in an old church. Well, somebody upstairs musta been watchin' out for that minister because he found the bomb right before services. I got there too late. It blew when I walked in."

"Sometimes I wonder if it was because I'm not exactly a Christian. Oh, I believe in God , but I follow the Sioux beliefs, like my grandfather. I got blown up pretty bad. But no permanent damage. That dang General put me in for a purple heart. Him and his stupid medals. I mean a purple heart should go to someone who saved a life not a clumsy fella like me."

"I was late 'cause I got lost. I got a terrible sense of direction, Sir. I couldn't find my way out of a paper sack, somedays. That don't deserve a medal. But that darn General kept visiting me and finally I asked him for a favor. I asked him to put me back in a plane as a bombardier."

"That's when I met Lieutenant Perry. I was wearing his uniform the first time I came here. But it was okay with him, Sir, I was kinda undercover, well sorta."

Hogan shook his head. Carter was no spy. He might be a train wreck waiting to happen but he was no traitor. He reached down and opened a drawer pulling out a bottle of whisky and two shot glasses. He poured out two shots as Carter's eyes grew wide. "Have a drink, Carter. I have a feeling I'm going to need one."

"Thank you, Sir. I'm gonna have to ask you to keep this next part just between you and me."

Carter took up his shot glass and finished it neatly. "I gotta have your promise that nothing I tell ya is gonna get anybody in trouble. Oh, I don't care about me, I'm always in trouble…"

"Okay, Carter I promise, as long as it doesn't go against my sworn duty as an officer." Hogan finished his drink and poured two more.

Carter moved his chair closer to Hogan, to make it easier to talk quietly.

"Oh, no, Sir. It's a private matter."

"Go ahead."

"Lieutenant Perry had been acting kinda funny on our last couple of missions. Nervous like. Jumpy. Then we were shot down and had to parachute out of the burning plane. The other guys got out okay and I had my parachute on ready to jump. I noticed Perry didn't and he was yelling about dying and going to hell."

"He was gone, Sir. His mind was gone. I knew I couldn't just leave him to die so I got him into his parachute, attached him to my belt and jumped with him screaming and clinging to me. We managed to get to ground, but he had gotten knocked out. We didn't have a chance - any of us. The woods were lousy with Krauts."

"They put us in a truck and were going to take us to a POW camp. Well, I knew the Lieutenant was in no state to take charge or even get interrogated. We were so scared. So I changed uniforms with Perry and became a lieutenant, just like that. Funny thing was the guys all started lookin' to me to take care of them. It was kinda nice in a way."

Hogan and Carter both finished their whisky together and Hogan poured another round.

"When Perry woke up he was even worse. So I told the Kraut Kommandant he was shell shocked and to just leave him to me to take care of. The pigs thought that was funny and gave him a hard time making fun of him and stuff. But Perry just stuck to me like glue. I never let any Kraut get near enough to hurt him."

Hogan reached out and placed a hand on Carter's shoulder. "I bet they hurt _you_ plenty." Carter just shrugged, picked up his glass and sipped it.

"Did your little masquerade make you the highest ranking officer?"

"Yes, Sir. I knew I had to get Perry out, so he could get some help. We started to dig a tunnel. We had some guys who really knew their stuff about engineering and they explained it to us. We were careful and the tunnel was a beauty. It's funny, but after I got to know the guys I found out that almost everyone had something to offer. One guy was able to connect with the underground simply because he was so big and strong, the Kommandant always sent him with the truck to town to do heavy lifting. An underground agent made contact with him. That's how we heard of you guys."

"So did Perry come through here?"

"Yup. Him and a bunch of our guys escaped a few weeks before I showed up here. He was doing much better by then. I doubt if you would have noticed anything strange about him. I told him to keep quiet and let everyone think he was a Sergeant till he was safe in London."

Hogan finished his drink. "Why didn't you come with him?"

Carter smiled. "Somebody had to blow up the guard tower as a distraction."

Hogan chuckled as Carter went on.

"I… I know I wasn't a real officer, but somehow I just couldn't leave the guys without… you know… someone to look out for them. Then a real Lieutenant came in. An older guy with lots of experience. I told him everything. He was real understanding, a lot like you, Sir."

Hogan smiled and put an arm around Carter. He poured two more shots. "Thanks, Carter. Now tell me how you ended up back here."

Carter leaned in closer to Hogan. It had been a long time since he'd been able to just relax and enjoy someone's company. Even if it was an officer. It felt like he had found a lost big brother.

"Well, when I left here and made it back to London the first thing I did was find Perry. He was in the hospital, but he was almost well again. The Docs said he just needed some time to rest up, he wouldn't fly missions again but he could teach. I was real happy for him."

"When I was leaving, he said he had a present for me. He had kept my uniform, my jacket, gloves and hat. And he got a new set of dog tags made up for me... with Technical Sergeant on them. I ditched ours when we were captured. Oh, he gave me this, too."

Carter reached in his bomber jacket and pulled out a little bible. He put it in Hogan's hand."The cover is made of bullet-proof steel. Perry said for me to keep it over my heart and it would keep me safe. You think that would work for me, Colonel Hogan? I mean do you think God would care? I've never been baptized or anything. But Perry was real serious about it."

Hogan ran his fingers over the little book reverently. Then he tossed back a shot of whisky. Carter followed suit, waiting for Hogan to gather his thoughts.

"Carter,I can't imagine a God who wouldn't want to watch over a fine young man like you. I think you're pretty safe as far as that goes." Hogan pulled Carter a little closer and and gave him a friendly, one-armed hug.

"Thanks, Colonel Hogan! That's been botherin' me and I didn't have anyone to ask."

Hogan chuckled. "Any time. Now back to your story."

"Where was I? Oh, yeah. General Collins wanted to see me right away. So I changed in Perry's room and headed over. Boy! It felt great to be in the right clothes for a change."

"Ya see, if I wear someone else's clothes or a costume I can put myself in that character's place, ya know? All of a sudden I'm a Lieutenant or a German civilian or Shakespeare's Hamlet or Dracula or whoever I want to be. But in my own clothes I'm just plain old Andrew. That's comfortable mostly. Unless I'm being yelled at for something dumb I did."

"Carter."

"Yes, Sir?"

"The General?"

"Oh, yeah. That darn General was so glad to see me. He started fussin' and callin' me 'Sonny Boy'. He offered me a position as his Aide. Said he liked having me around. Sheesh. I tell ya, Colonel, that General was a real pain in my patoot… Sir. Then he gave me another medal! Said I saved Perry's life! Above and beyond he kept sayin'."

"I told him my brother Sammy was a real hero. He died for his country. He was brave and true. He never got a medal. I don't like them much...Sir."

Carter lifted a gloved hand and rubbed at his eyes. Hogan patted his back and poured another two drinks. "Last round, Sergeant," Hogan's voice was soft yet steady.

Carter took up his shot right away and drained it. Carter let out a breath and continued.

"One thing good about having a darn General thinking the you're the cat's meow is that you can ask a favor and he doesn't mind… and you're pretty much certain he won't call the M.P.'s and lock you away. So I told him what I really wanted… sorta."

Hogan gripped Carter's arm. "Don't tell me you wanted to go back to being a POW!"

"Well… yeah. After seeing your operation here I really felt I wanted to be part of it. I knew it was top, top, secret, so I wasn't goin' to tell the old General about it. Who knows what a mess he would of made of your operation if he stuck his two cents in and anyway, I didn't trust him. So I told him I wanted to go out on as many missions to this part of Germany as I could. I told him I wanted to do what my brother Sammy couldn't."

"I know that was kinda sneaky using my brother's death to get to the General's heart, but I felt like Sammy was right there with me, eggin' me on like he used to do. Only he always got me in trouble. This time it was like the Carter boys were gonna give the Germans trouble."

"That darn General got all misty eyed and said a bunch of nice things about me. But best of all he told me I could go on as many missions as I wanted. I figured it was only a matter of time before I got shot down again."

Hogan finished his last drink. He wasn't sure if it was because he was drunk, but being around Carter was making him feel happier than he had in ages and Carter's story was making sense.

"So you got shot down and made your way here?"

"Yeah! Well… after I made sure the other guys were safe and on their way to London. I just sorta hid behind some bushes and watched the sub leave. I found my way here and got captured by Sergeant Schultz. I remembered he was the nice one."

Hogan chuckled. "You make it sound so easy."

Carter suddenly stopped smiling. He played with his empty glass. Hogan noticed.

"What is it, Carter?"

"Colonel? You've been real nice to me. A real pal...Sir. But you haven't … I mean… well… can I stay? Can I stay and help you guys? I don't care if you just make me tidy the tunnels and bring you coffee. I gotta be part of this. Please? Don't send me back to that darn General."

Hogan threw back his head and laughed. A great big belly laugh that left him breathless and wiping his eyes until it dwindled down to a giggle. He couldn't remember the last time he laughed like that. As Carter watched Hogan, he began to giggle too, although he didn't know why.

~~~HH~~~

Carter closed the Colonel's door behind him carefully and quietly. He turned around to face Kinch, Newkirk and LeBeau who were sitting together at the table speaking in hushed tones and nursing half empty cups of tepid coffee. Kinch and Newkirk looked up expectantly. LeBeau, sitting opposite them turned to catch the expression on Carter's face.

Carter grinned and let out a cry, throwing his gloved fists into the air. "Weeeee Heeeee! Hot Dog! How do ya like that?" Carter grabbed Lebeau and danced him around the room. "I'm stayin' I'm stayin' guys!" he yelled.

Kinch and Newkirk got to their feet and caught hold of the dangerously swaying Carter.

"The bloke's potted!" Newkirk said in a shocked tone.

"Drunk?" asked Lebeau.

"As a skunk." Kinch confirmed with a nod.

Carter put a gloved hand on Kinch's cheek and patted it gently. "Ya know, Klinch, sorry… I mean Klinch, that Colonel Hogan is one helluva guy. Whoops! S'cuse my French, LeBeau!"

Carter broke out in a fit of giggles that infected the others till they were all weak with laughter, then he fell bonelessly into Kinch's arms. Kinch laid him gently out on the floor where Carter started to sing a tragic rendition of, " _There'll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover."_

Hogan stood cross armed and with a crooked smile on his face as he watched his men laughing at the antics of the newest member of the team. His silhouette was framed in the doorway to his quarters.

Then he straightened his jacket and tried to hide his grin as he announced, "What do you think of our new demolitions man? By the way, his birthday's next week. Let's give him a party. It's not everyday a guy turns twenty-one."

The absolutely shocked looks on the faces of Kinch, Newkirk and Lebeau would stay with the Colonel and make him smile for a long, long time.

Spread eagle on the floor, Carter happily continued his serenade.

" _There'll be love and laughter_

 _And peace ever after._

 _Tomorrow, when the world is freeeeeeeeee!_

 _There'll be bluebirds over_

 _The white cliffs of Dover,_

 _Tomorrow, just you wait and seeeeeeeee."_


End file.
